Say something about gay babies.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
ttyl tear gas
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
