Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
sarcasm needs its own font
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
