Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
