Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
