butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
