I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
