You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
