break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize