so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
