I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
