I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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