He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
