Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
