Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
