he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
