I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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