I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
