You're so nebulous sometimes
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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