hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
