cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
