Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
