Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
