she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
