i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
