Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
