I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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