I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think my moral compass just broke
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
