I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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