you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
