I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
