Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize