She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize