return my video game
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
