i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
