im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
NoShamevember. You game?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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