there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
