do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
