Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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