I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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