I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Randomize
