Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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