its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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