The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
