I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
