I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
