the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
