so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
