i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
