Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
