sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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