sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
