Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
