she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So much Jack, so little girl.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
