i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Also, beer. Big fan.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
