Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I deserve this hangover.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
