Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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