RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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