I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
