my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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