Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
