My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
