i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
