The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
