More tranny stories later!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
