tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
