if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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