I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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