this boner is exhausting
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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