I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
